Black Revisited original version
by rvr idtq
Summary: A Marauders fic from Sirius' perspective. Begins at their first year. Scrubbing, singing, full frontal nudity, and more. New Chapter:
1. Black, Sirius Black

Black Revisited

Chapter 1- Black, Sirius Black

A/N: Okay, I've decided to do a Sirius fic along with my Ron one. I'm going to do a chapter for each a week although I'm starting off this one with several chapters to get it going. I'm trying to sort of reinvent Sirius with this one and give him a little more personality then what is entailed in the books. I hope you like it, but if you don't, flames are welcome (although not too many). 

"Aw, come on mum!" groaned the dark haired boy as his mother desperately tried to straighten his thick, shaggy hair that always seemed untidy. He shook her off and glared at her.

"It's your first day of school, and you should at least look decent," said his mother as she looked dismayed. Her eyes strayed from his messy hair to his shirt - half tucked in - and his muddy shoes. "You could at least have a little dignity and respect for the family name."

"Mum, I don't give a -"

"Watch your language!"

"Fine then, I couldn't be bothered if my ancestors turned in their graves because of what I choose to do."

"You'll end up in Azkaban before you're thirty," sighed his mother.

"And I'll escape before I'm forty," retorted the boy. "Now I believe I have a train to catch." He looked behind himself at the red steam engine. Before he could walk away, she grabbed him and gave him one last hug goodbye. He stormed off with his trunk.

"Please behave, Sirius," she called out after him, "and try not to look so morose!"

Sirius hurried to the nearest car door and tried to host his trunk inside. A line built up behind him of disgruntled students trying to board the train, but he refused any help with his trunk. Finally he got it onto the train and went in search of an empty compartment.

He found one and settled in, putting his feet up on the seat opposite of him. Of course his feet just barely reached and he was a lot less comfortable than he had thought he would be. He put his hands behind his head in a truly jaunty fashion. But then the door started to open and he jumped in surprise. The result was that he fell between both seats with his feet in the air. He quickly stood up and tried to both brush himself off and look as though he had meant to do that. 

"Ersorry about that," began the intruder, "I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's alright," muttered Sirius as he tried not to blush. 

"I was just looking for an open compartment. Most of them are already full or full of older students who couldn't be bothered to let a first year have some space in the corner," said the boy. 

"Och, I know," replied Sirius. "A bunch got mad at me just because I couldn't get my trunk on the train fast enough." Both of them laughed.

"My name is James," said the boy as he held out his hand. Sirius shook it.

"Name's Black, Sirius Black."

Sirius and James chatted for a while and were in the process of planning a prank that would avenge themselves against the upper classmen that had snubbed them when the door slid open again. A taller and lankier boy stood in the doorway with a battered trunk. 

"Is there room for one more?" he asked timidly.

"Of course," said Sirius and James in unison. 

"I'm Remus," continued the boy with a slight ting of shyness, "and I just got kicked out of my compartment because I wasn't interesting' enough."

"Welcome to the club," muttered James.

"Now I'm thinking that we should pull something really big, maybe before we even get to the school to really catch them all off guard," said Sirius with an evil grin that was reminiscent of The Grinch'. "The only problem is that we don't have much to work with."

"Yeah, something memorable, something that will become a Hogwarts legend," answered James.

"Uh, I've got a few firecrackers in my trunk," said the timid boy. James and Sirius looked at him slightly surprised. Remus smiled sheepishly. "They were a gift, from my cousin."

A few hours later, when the three boys' friendship was sealed, a loud explosion was heard in the train toilet.

"Would you like another chocolate frog?" asked Sirius casually as he held out a candy to Remus. Students ran screaming past the door. 

"Thank you," said Remus as he took the candy.

"Shall I open the door?" asked James.

"Why not?" answered Sirius with a grin. James opened the door just as a soot-covered fifth year walked by with toilet paper hanging off of his shoulder. 

"We'll have to thank your cousin Remus," said James. "I can't think of a better way to start off a school year."

"They'll never believe that three first years did it though," sighed Remus.

"They don't have to know that we're first years," said James.

"No one would mistake you for anything but a first year with your height," said Sirius with a laugh. 

"I'm no shorter than you!" said James indignantly.

"Yes you are!" retorted Sirius.

"Come on Remus, who's taller?" asked James as he stood next to Sirius.

"I'm not getting involved," laughed Remus as the two boys tried to look taller than each other.


	2. Oh, Roll the Salty Waves

Black Revisited

Chapter 2- Oh, Roll the Salty Waves

A/N: Here's the second chapter of my Sirius fic, and I'd like to make some apologies in advance. First, I'd like to apologize to J. K. Rowling and all Marauders fans for any possible desecration of their beloved characters. Second, I'd like to apologize to Colin Welland for some lines borrowed' from the film "War of the Buttons," for which he wrote the screenplay. And lastly, I'd like to apologize to CloakofNight, for the placement of her in this story, even if it was her idea (she's the one with the glasses). 

The train arrived at Hogwarts, and the three boys quickly shoved the leftovers of the candy they had all bought into their trunks before leaving them and exiting the train. They followed the booming voice that was calling all of the first years. They were lead to the lake, and they stood on the bank, staring at several dozen disturbingly woebegone rowboats.

"Four to a boat!" called the gigantic man, and Sirius jumped into the one nearest him, taking a seat at the prow.

"Come on!" he said as he looked back at Remus and James. Remus got in behind Sirius, but James was waving to a shy looking boy. But before the boy could make his way through the crowd, another boy with greasy black hair slid into the spot next to Remus, and James was forced to sit resignedly in the back. 

Once the boats began to move, Sirius turned and sat down on the edge of the boat so that he was facing the other three. He held out his hand to the new boy.

"Name's Sirius," he said with a polite grin.

"I'm sure," said the boy as he looked at Sirius' slightly dirty hand with a grimace. The boy kept his hands in his laps. Sirius seemed not to notice.

"This here is Remus," he said as he gestured to Remus, "and the grim-looking one in the back is James. I think he's feeling a bit put out on account of his lack of height."

"I am not short!" said James as he jumped up indignantly. 

"Yes you are," said Sirius as he leaned back and forth to rock the boat. "Now sit down before you fall overboard." 

He had only meant it as a joke, but as soon as he said it, James went flying over the side and was clinging to the side of the boat, gasping for air and laughing at the same time. Remus and Sirius began to laugh, but when the greasy haired boy joined in, Sirius shoved him overboard too. Remus pushed Sirius, but he only succeeded in dunking him. Both of them helped the two drenched boys back into the boat (although they were a little more reluctant with the other boy).

"You do realize, Remus," began Sirius as he regained his position at the prow, "that you look terribly suspicious being the only one who isn't wet."

"Erm, well, how about this?" said Remus. He plunged his hand into the water. Sirius, James, and Remus laughed while the new boy glowered. 

Sirius was about to ask him if the water was making him melt when the boat slammed into the shore and he toppled out backwards. He looked up and found that he was staring into a very angry looking face. He scrambled to his feet and tried to look less wet. But then she looked at James and the other boy and Sirius knew that it was all over. 

"I would deduct points from each of your houses," began the woman, "but seeing as you haven't been sorted yet, I will have to settle with giving you each a detention. I will inform Mr. Filch that you will all be meeting him tonight at the main entrance after the feast." She stalked off angrily and the greasy haired boy glared at them for a moment before walking away.

Sirius stood with all of the first years waiting to enter the Great Hall. Most of the students were looking nervous and somewhat ill. Sirius, James, and Remus seemed to be the only exceptions. James was too busy trying to wring out his robes to care that he was about to be sorted, and Remus was trying to make conversation with the timid boy James had been waving to earlier. Sirius didn't really care about the sorting. He figured that worrying about it wouldn't change anything, so why bother?

When the door to the Great Hall opened, the dramatic climax was pretty much ruined by James, whose shoes sloshed as they walked to towards the stool with the battered hat upon it. Sirius was one of the first students to be sorted on account of his last name starting with a B instead of a P or an L like James and Remus (the lucky bastards). They got to sit there and watch while he made a fool of himself with the water now running down his robes in dark streaks. 

The hat shuddered a bit when it was placed on his damp head. He heard it looking into him, muttering that he was mischievous' and a bit egotistical' but never the less courageous.'

And so the hat shouted "Gryffindor!" and he took a seat at the table. Of course Remus and James and even the shy boy (who he found out was named Peter) were also sorted into Gryffindor. The boy he had shoved into the lake, who had been announced as Snape, Severus," was sorted into Slytherin and Sirius couldn't say he was disappointed. 

The feast was so enjoyable that Sirius forgot that he had detention. It wasn't until Remus tapped him on the shoulder as he was asking a prefect for the password that he thought about it again. 

"Front entrance, remember?" asked Remus.

"Yeah," groaned Sirius. 

"By the way, who's Mr. Filch?"

"See that evil looking guy in the corner who looks like he would be perfectly willing to torture young students?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah"

"The one next to him."

Remus groaned. "If you don't know, then don't say anything."

They grabbed James, who had been busy flirting with a first year girl, and headed for the main entrance. There they were met by Snape, Severus' and the infamous Mr. Filch. They didn't know as they listened to him lecture that this would be the first of many times they would be lectured by him. He gave them their assignment- they would be scrubbing the floor in dungeon #2 until it sparkled.'

Of course the floor of dungeon #2 was spectacularly dirty, and the four of them spent the better part of three hours scrubbing until it looked decent enough to leave. At one point, Severus made a muttered comment about something or other that no one could really make out. All of them took it for an insult, and Sirius took the situation as an opportunity to sing.

"Oh, roll the salty waves, the waves down in the ocean, oh!" he bellowed and Severus glared. "And in those wave there was an eel!" he sung as he stared at the Slytherin. Everyone understood the reference to the boat trip, but none of them said anything. They finished cleaning in silence, but James and Remus seemed to be smiling.

The Slytherin boy slipped off quickly enough when they were done, leaving Sirius, Remus, and James alone in their soiled clothes.

"You've got your wand. Why don't you magic them clean?" whispered Sirius to James as they headed for the Gryffindor common room.

"How?" whispered James as he pulled his wand out of his pocket.

"I dunno, just try!"

"Alright thenabracadabra...make the dirt disappear!" said James as he pointed his wand at all of them. To their great surprise, the dirt seemed to become like mercury and ran off their robes and seeped into the carpet, leaving dark stains.

"Look there!" whispered Remus as pointed at the growing stains. "We'll be in worse trouble now!"

"I think that's the least of your worries," whispered Sirius as he stifled a laugh. Remus' clothes were now dissolving too and dripping onto the floor. In fact, all of their clothes were dissolving. James was trying desperately to make it all stop, and Remus just stood there shocked. Sirius, however, was howling with laughter, and Remus had to whisper for him to stop. 

In a matter of minutes all three were completely stark naked, not a stitch on them, and there was still the matter of getting to bed.

"We'll just have to go to the tower and hope for the best," sighed James.

"But what if someone sees us?" asked Remus.

"What's up? Ashamed of what you've got?" asked Sirius with a laugh.

"Let's just go to bed," said James.

They headed up towards the dormitory as quietly as possible. The stopped outside the portrait hole where the fat lady gave them strange looks as she let them in. They were in the common room, only a few dozen feet from the dormitories, when they stopped dead.

"Uh, hullo," said Sirius as he held out his hand and approached the two girls playing chess. The one on his right shook his hand and smiled while the other sat there, a bit flabbergasted.

"M'name's Artemis," said the girl, "and this here is Rachel." She gestured to her friend who was putting on her glasses.

"I'm Sirius. The one who your friend is staring at is Remus, and the short one is James. We've had a bit of an accident with our clothes."

"Oh. Alright then."

"Nice, erm, stuff you've got there, Remus," said Rachel. Remus blushed furiously.

"You'd better tell your friend to stop before she gives him a heart attack," whispered Sirius.

"Yeah, er, okay," said Artemis as she tried both to keep a straight face and look at Sirius' face.

"So, I'll see you around then," said Sirius.

"Yeah. You're first years too, right?" asked Artemis.

"Uh huh. We should have some classes together."

"That'll make Rachel happy."

"Well, then, we must be off to bed," said Sirius, and the three of them went to the boys' dormitory and to bed.


	3. A Speculation of Insanity

Black Revisited

Chapter 3- A Speculation of Insanity

A/N: Well, this is the third chapter of my Marauders fic, and I hope you'll enjoy it. Just a note- if you're looking for a story with romance, you won't find one here. Romantic references, including slashy ones, exist purely for the purpose of depicting the youth of the man who would be the only person to ever escape from Azkaban (Go Sirius!) Of course we all know that James will end up with Lily, but that's not important to this story. I'd also like to apologize for any misspellings of characters' names (specifically McGonagall), but I can't check on any of them because my brother hijacked all four of my Harry Potter books for some deranged experiment, and I haven't see them in about a week and half. (I'm starting to get worried.)

"Should we wake him up?" asked a timid voice.

"Maybe. It is getting late," said a second voice.

"We could try water," suggested a third.

"I'm not deaf," grunted Sirius as he rubbed his eyes, "and it's too early in any case." He looked at his watch. "See?" he said as he waved it in front of them. "It's only 7:46! I could have had 4 more minutes of sleep and still made it to breakfast on time."

"I'm not going in there!" whispered Sirius desperately. He, James, Remus, and Peter were standing outside the door to their first class- transfiguration.

"Why?" asked Peter.

"It's her! The one from last night! She hates me already- I know it! I can't go in!"

"Who is it, that Artemis girl you were talking with?" said James with a sly grin. "I didn't think you were that fond of her."

"Not her!" said Sirius, too panicked to bother with James' absolutely inappropriate comment. "The teacher that gave us detention! She's in there!" Peter stared, unsure of what was wrong with the teacher.

"She can't be that bad, can she?" asked Peter timidly.

"Peter, that woman could squash my nuts into oblivion and not think twice of it," said Sirius.

"Look," began Remus, "If we don't go in now, we'll be late and she'll hate you even more." He then shoved Sirius into the room so there was no way he could run without making an absolute fool of himself.

The four of them sat down in the back row with Sirius taking the seat that he thought was farthest from the teacher's desk. The teacher- McGonagall was her name- went through the role and Sirius was sure (although the others denied it later) that she grimaced at his name.

She then went into a speech about something or other, but Sirius pretty much ignored it all. She passed out matches to everyone and said that they should work on turning them into needles. Sirius tried to transfigure his for a good minute and a half before getting thoroughly bored. He glanced down the row. James was also looking a little bored, but Remus was really tryinghe seemed to be making progress at least. Peter looked hopeless however, and Sirius couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

Sirius was near the point of banging his head on his desk when the girl in front of him slid her chair back and turned around.

"Any of you guys wanna ditch this class?" she whispered as she glanced down the row herself. It was Artemis. "I asked Lily and Rachel, but they're too busy playing with matches."

"Love to, but how are we supposed to manage that?" whispered Sirius as he leaned forward.

"We could cause a distraction." She gestured to Peter. "We could chuck him out the window. I'm sure he wouldn't mind with the state he's in." Sirius looked at Peter. He seemed near tears with frustration.

In the corner of his eye, Sirius could see McGonagall suddenly looking up from the summer homework she was grading.

"Quick! Turn around!" he whispered, but it was too late.

"Mr.Black! I would appreciate it if you would stop flirting with Ms.McNamee and would concentrate on your work!"

Sirius tried desperately not to blush, and judging by the back of her neck, Artemis was already beyond hope.

"We need to mingle," James explained to Sirius when McGonagall had gone back to grading.

"Mingle?" Sirius had asked absentmindedly.

"Well, I mean, we didn't get to meet anyone last night after the feast."

"Yes we did," said Sirius as he jabbed at his match angrily with his wand. "Remus especially I think." He grinned as he remembered the previous night.

"Hey!" whispered Remus from the other side of James as he blushed furiously.

"She complemented you, didn't she?"

"Yeah, well"

"Anyway," said James in an attempt to bring the subject back to mingling' as he called it, "we should meet some people, you know. Are you up for it?" Sirius and Remus shrugged. 

"Hey Petey!" whispered Sirius and he swung out behind James and Remus. "You with us?" Peter looked a bit confused, but nodded anyway.

"Since when is he Petey?" Remus asked James once Sirius went back to his match. 

"Since Sirius decided it was, I guess."

The four of them waited in the hallway after class for the rest of the Gryffindors. Once they were all out in the hallway, the show was stolen by Artemis, who began making violent hand gestures and yelling something incomprehensible at Sirius.

"What is she doing?" he asked Lily and Rachel, who were standing there watching.

"We don't actually know." said Lily.

"So it's just gibberish then?"

"No, those are actual words- we just don't know what they mean." There was a drawn out pause in which Artemis seemed to switch languages at least three times.

"Ah, so she could be saying anything?" said Sirius, finally breaking the silence.

"I'm guessing she's cursing at you, Sirius."

"That's a comforting thought, Remus."

"I don't think she really means it," said Lily. "She'll probably stop soon."

Sirius looked at Artemis again. "Is she.sane?"

"I am really," said Artemis as she stopped suddenly. "And at least I don't run about the school starkers." She, with the other girls, walked off without waiting for a response. Honestly, Sirius couldn't care less.

"That was an accident!" said Sirius indignantly.

"Isn't it always?"

"You can't talk James. It was all your fault anyway."

"You told me too!"

"You should have know better than to listen to me!"

"I should have know better? Now I do."

Remus shook his head and sighed. Peter looked slightly unnerved.

"Anyway, I've got another idea," said Sirius.

"What now?"

"We should do a bit of exploring. I'm interested in seeing where the food comes from."

"The kitchen?" suggest Peter timidly.

"I know that. I meant we should find the kitchen."

"Why?

"Think of the possibilities! Free food whenever we want. What more could we need?"

"An invisibility cloak so we don't get detention perhaps?" said Remus with a slight hint of sarcasm. 

"Got that," said James.

"Really?" asked Remus. 

"Yes. I've got one in my trunk."

"Lucky."

"So," began Sirius, a plan formulating in his head, "we all go under the cloak and search the castle for the kitchens or something like it. We can go tonight."


End file.
